BORING JOKES! See Arctic Animal Links or click picture for more about Polar Bears. (NOAA photo)

Q: What did the polar bear cub say to its mother at mealtime?
A: "Aw, no! Not SEALS again!"

Q: What's a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw!

Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: "Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside - with a nice chewy center!"

Q: Why shouldn't you take polar bears to the zoo?
A: Because they'd rather go to the movies.

Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist.

Q: What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A: "Sandwiches!"

Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because the seals laughed at them when they wore parkas!

Q: What's another reason polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would freeze in Hawaiian shirts!

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Q: What did the polar bear say to the tourist who left the tundra buggy?
A: "Why don't you just have a good scream and get it over with."

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR?
A: It just presses the "paws" button.

Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Insist that it pay cash!

Q: What did the polar bear put on the sign when seals were very scarce?
A: "Tourists Welcome!"

Q: What's white, furry, rides a walrus, and knocks a ball around the ice?
A: A polo bear!

Q: What's white, furry, smokes cigars, and stays up all night playing cards?
A: A poker bear!

Q: What's white, furry, likes to dance, and wears short leather pants?
A: A polka bear!

Q: What are white, furry, and have wheels on their paws?
A: Roller bears!

Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are attacking you?
A: A bitemare!

Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A "brrr"-"grrr"!

Q: What did the polar bear say after a winter of feeding on seals?
A: "I think I'd like a salad!"

Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: "Meals on Wheels!"

Q: What do polar bears have between their teeth?
A: Slow Squallhoots.

Q: What do you call a big mean polar bear?
A: Don't call it anything - just RUN!

Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Call it anything you want - it can't hear you.

It was so cold... Polar Bears were breaking into Churchill's restaurants and demanding hot chocolate! It was so cold... people were waking up the bears and offering them honey popsicles if they'd share their hibernation secrets. It was so cold... the Polar Bears were buying fur coats! MORE "IT WAS SO COLD" Jokes! (Over 250)

Q: Why are polar bears big and furry?
A: Because if they were small and smooth, they'd be aspirins.

Q: Why do polar bears win so many races?
A: Because they're always in the "pole" position.

Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it's in a "grizzly" mood.

Q: Why would polar bears be cheap to keep as pets?
A: They live on ice!

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a mailbox?
A: You don't know? Well, I'm not asking you to post MY letters!

Q: Have you ever seen a man-eating polar bear?
A: No, but down at the restaurant I once saw a man eating chicken!

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I'm not sure - but I wouldn't try smelling it!

Q: What's white, furry, and throws balls of ice at igloos?
A: A bowler bear!

Q: What's white, furry, wears sunglasses, and lazes in the sun all summer long?
A: A solar bear!

Q: What is white and goes RRRRG! RRRRG!?
A: A polar bear walking backwards.

Q: Polar bear cubs are born wet, naked, and in an icy cave. Then what happens?
A: Things get worse!

"So what happens? A seal goes missing - and they throw me in jail because I fit the 'profile' of a suspect! The next thing you know... they'll tell me we all look alike! Hmmph!"

Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: It depends on where you lost them.

Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh...bare) place!

Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre!

Q: What did the polar bear say to itself when the hunter was shooting at it?
A: "Hey! He's SHOOTING at me! Do I know this guy? Think! Think!"

Amaruq (while looking at Irniq in the hospital bed): "So there it was... this HUGE polar bear... just laying there... and Irniq says, 'Do you think its dead - or just asleep?'"

Tourist at the hospital: "I heard that bear bells were good to have if you're hiking in polar bear country. The hard part was getting them on that bear!"

Q: How do you put a polar bear into a refrigerator?
A: It's easy - just open the door. Polar bears like cold places.
Q: How do you put a walrus into a refrigerator?
A: Just open the door, tell the polar bear to get out, stuff the walrus in, and close the door.
Q: There is a big animal meeting in the Arctic. All the animals are supposed to be there but one animal isn't. Which one is missing?
A: The walrus - it's still locked in the refrigerator.
Q: You have to paddle your kayak across water where dangerous polar bears swim. How will you do this without becoming polar bear lunch?
A: Just paddle across - all the polar bears are at the big animal meeting - don't you remember?

An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!" The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."

We've just heard of still another result of Global Warming. Pedestrians in Iqaluit are now being pestered by polar bears panhandling for spare ice.

A Polar bear walks into a restaurant in Churchill and says to the waiter, "I'll have a seal steak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and a side order of lemmings." The waiter says...."What's with the big pause?" The bear replies, "I don't know... but my father had them, too!"

A papa polar bear, a mama polar bear, and a baby polar bear got stranded on an ice-floe and drifted out to sea. They decided to tell stories to pass the time. Papa told his favorite story about the time he outwitted a hunter. Mama told a story about the time she tricked a seal into coming for lunch. Then Papa turned to the baby bear. "What's your story, son?" he asked. The baby bear shivered. "My tail's told!" he replied.